I’ve heard a few grumblings and some speculation about a song called “Failed Christian” on the new Over the Rhine collection Live from Nowhere, Vol. 2.
Seems to me that whenever an artist sings about struggle or doubt, many Christian listeners get nervous that this means the singer has “lost his/her salvation” or something like that.
Frankly, I admire songwriters who are willing to share their moments of stumble, of trouble, of question, of failure as well as their moments of transcendence and gratitude and glory and faith. Many of the songs that mean the most to me are songs about those struggles. Sam Phillips’s “Answers Don’t Come Easy” and “Reflecting Light,” U2’s “Wake Up Dead Man” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” R.E.M.’s “New Test Leper.”
But let me point out that Over the Rhine have posted a few comments on their website about the song’s inclusion:
Jack Henderson first played this song for us. It appears on the Nick Lowe record called, Dig My Mood. That’s a great record by the way, well worth owning. Failed Christian was written by someone we know nothing about: Henry McCullough. Our prayer has always been that our music will encourage real conversation, and if this song doesn’t get some conversation going, I’m not sure what will.
We’ve met a lot of people that would identify to some degree with the character in this song, and it seems they very seldom have a platform to express the way they feel. We hope our music gives people a voice who may otherwise feel like no one’s listening.
We were leaning toward not including the song on the record, and then on Ash Wednesday, Juicy stopped by the farm and we played it, and we all immediately realized that we had to include it. Juicy said, Think of all the times in the Psalms when David felt like a failure. It’s confession. It’s real.
Karin likes to refer to the drums at the end as, The Cleansing Loop.
Do you have a favorite “doubter’s song”?
I’m partial to Sufjan Stevens’ “Casimir Pulaski Day”, especially the haunting final lines:
“Oh the glory when he took our place
But he took my shoulders
and he shook my face
And he takes,
and he takes,
and he takes”
Of course! How could I forget? Breaks my heart every time.
“Casimir Pulaski Day” is a great one.
One song that always gets me is Pedro The Lion’s “Secret Of The Easy Yoke.”
This song is nearly 20 years old, so I doubt that many people remember it, but Steve Taylor’s “Harder to Believe Than Not to,” probably falls into this category. It’s from his “I Predict 1990” album. Here are the lyrics:
http://www.sockheaven.net/music/albums/ip1990/10.html
The last line makes it clear that he DOES believe, but the rest of the song makes it clear that he understands the struggle of doubt.
“Anti-Christ Television Blues” by Arcade Fire comes to mind as a recent contribution to this idea of the doubting, or failed Christian.
But now the war is won /
How come nothing tastes good…
Oh Lord, am I the Anti-Christ?
Another song that stopped me dead in my tracks when I first heard it was “Oh My God”, by Jars of Clay.
Sometimes when I lose my grip,
I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat
All the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children This is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers This is our greatest offense
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God
Nickel Creek’s “Doubting Thomas.” The lyrics are so good, but the music is what makes it:
What will be left
when I’ve drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I’ve met
and the folks who’ve known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me
I’m a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith
Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I’m a coward
If there’s a master of death
I bet he’s holding his breath
As I show the blind
and tell the deaf about his power
I’m a doubting Thomas
I can’t keep my promises
Cause I don’t know what’s safe
Oh me of little faith
Can I be used to help others find truth
When I’m scared I’ll find proof that it’s a lie
Can I be led down a trail
dropping bread crumbs
That prove I’m not ready to die
Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I’ve wasted
I’m a doubting Thomas
I’ll take your promise
Though I know nothin’s safe
Oh me of little faith
Two from Extreme
“Who Cares?”
Tell me, Jesus,
are you angry?
One more sheep has,
just gone astray
A hardening of hearts,
turning to stone
Wandering off,
so far from home
So many children,
losing time
Walk in darkness,
looking for a sign
Chasing their rainbows,
the future looks so bright
Slowly we’re losing,
Sight of the light
WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
TELL ME WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
All alone,
out in the cold
Can’t look back,
am I growing old
I chose a path,
is this my fate
Am I finding out,
the truth too late
[CHORUS]
Here I am,
a naked man
Nothing to hide
with empty hands
Remember me,
I am the one
Who lost his way,
your Prodigal Son
WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
TELL ME WHO CARES?
WHO CARES?
AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
WILL I ALWAYS STAY THE SAME
SAY ONE THING
THEN I DO THE OTHER
SAME OLD SONG
GOES ON FOREVER
RISE, RISE ‘N SHINE
A NEW DAY IS COMING
YES IT IS!
“Am I Ever Gonna Change”
I’m tired of being me,
and I don’t like what I see,
I’m not who I appear to be
So I start off every day,
down on my knees I will pray,
for a change in any way
But as the day goes by,
I live through another lie,
if it’s any wonder why
AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
WILL I ALWAYS STAY THE SAME
IF I SAY ONE THING,
THEN I DO THE OTHER
IT’S THE SAME OLD SONG,
THAT GOES ON FOREVER
AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
I’M THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME
WHEN I THINK I’M RIGHT,
I WIND UP WRONG
IT’S A FUTILE FIGHT,
GONE ON TOO LONG
Please tell me if it’s true,
am I too old to start anew,
cause that’s what I want to do
But time and time again,
when I think I can,
I fall short in the end
So why do I even try,
Will it matter when I die,
Can anyone hear my cry?
AM I EVER GONNA CHANGE
TAKE IT DAY BY DAY
MY WILL IS WEAK
AND MY FLESH TOO STRONG
THIS PEACE I SEEK
TILL THY KINGDOM COMES
also, to some extent “The Finish Line” and “Sock Heaven” have that losing faith motif. But, as with HtBtNt, Steve always brings the focus back to God and doesn’t leave it in that gray area.
I must second Tom on Nickel Creek’s “Doubting Thomas” – a simply beautiful song. It’s the first one that came to my mind. I first heard them do it at the Fillmore in San Francisco a few years ago (2003?) & it had the crowd rapt & many of us near or in tears. The pensive arrangement & Chris Thile’s vocal performance is incredibly effective. I can’t hear it without choking up. (Same with their song The Hand Song, too.)
BTW . . . They’re going to take a hiatus for a few years after this current tour ends in December. Go see them! I saw them twice over the weekend & there’s not a better band on the road right now, IMO.
A favourite “doubter’s song”? It will have to be “Silence” by Jars of Clay.